Let’s start with this week’s terrible doctor visit. I had a follow up with my pain doctor yesterday, to see how I was doing after the nerve block procedure they did a few weeks ago. During the follow up the fellow kept trying to argue that my pain was improved by my procedure and I kept telling him that no, it wasn’t. My ribs feel better because of radiation. I could get through the day without pain because of my meds. I got 1 new sleeping position, but I also got new pain from the procedure that makes it hurt to lay on my back – which was previously my only comfortable laying down position. The new back pain seems to be a muscle spasm so massage should take care of that. Next up he diagnosed me with carpal tunnel, which I had just noticed was an issue a few days before. When I asked for a treatment plan he told me to look up carpal tunnel relief on the internet. Luckily I have some other resources to figure out the carpal tunnel. And this terrible appointment just joins the long list of them.

In better news, I turned 35 on Saturday and it was a really lovely birthday. I had a lot of snuggly family time, and the gifts from family and friends made me feel so seen and loved. I’m still in a really emotional place, as I have been sharing here lately, and not in the mood for a big celebration where I would have to fake smiles. Quiet and intimate was exactly what I wanted this year.

The chemo is going okay this week. I’m more nauseous than usual. Even though I didn’t do the driving for my 6 hour trip for the terrible appointment it must have tired me out because I slept 12 hours last night. Oh, and I was able to go on a 2.5 mile walk on Monday! I didn’t have time yesterday but I am hoping to get in another walk today. They make me feel so good and are a great place to work through the big pile of feelings inside me.

I leave you with a question. I have met so many amazing people during these years – the eternally cheerful parking garage guy and the volunteer masseuse I talk mysteries with and the chemo nurse who manages to connect with every patient. I am pondering doing an interview series with these folks. Would you be interested in that? Let me know!