It’s the week before my next scan, which means my anxiety is up. I generally don’t spend a lot of time thinking and worrying about the scan itself, my worries tend to present themselves in other ways. This weekend I found myself interrogating my husband on what he planned to buy at the grocery store before suddenly gasping and saying, “I don’t know why I am doing this.” We ended up having a good laugh about it and I’m trying to be gentle with him and those around me in the mean time.
I am still feeling frustrated with the disconnect between my energy levels and my abilities. My energy is high again, but between a pulled abdominal muscle, sciatica, and a spasming neck muscle there’s not much movement I can do that’s safe. Even the stretches for the latter two ailments irritate the former.
This week I have had two exciting opportunities fall into my lap. I’m going to keep them close to my chest for a bit longer because they’re so exciting that revealing them feels like it might make them disappear. It continues to be both humbling and fulfilling to have opportunities to share my story.