It’s been another couple weeks since I posted, and I learned last week that my blood markers dropped yet again. These blood markers tend to move with the amount of cancer in my body so in theory they indicate that my treatment is effective. I had the scan that will confirm how things are going earlier this morning, so now I am hydrating and eating and hoping for good news.
This is my first update scan not at MD Anderson in almost 3 years. As I hoped, I had much less anxiety leading up to the scan without it being part of a trip and feeling like an event. I get the results on Thursday, so I suspect that the anxiety is going to hit between now and then. But I get to be with my family while I await the results, which definitely helps to mitigate the worry. And I don’t have to get the results and then drive home 3 hours.
Last weekend I went away for a sewing retreat and sewed a pair of jeans. When I booked the trip I picked a place just blocks away, unsure if I’d have the energy to make it to the shop, let alone get through a weekend of sewing. It’s a surprisingly physical hobby with lots of standing, bending, reaching, carrying. It took me a week to recover, but I got through the class, and am so grateful to be on a regimen that allowed me to do so. I left feeling inspired to sew more and have quite the queue on tap now!
Overall I feel like I am settling into being in a place where I can do more planning and have more direction. We were just surviving for so long, and now I want to take advantage of the chance to live. I have gotten back to doing morning pages, which is an exercise from the book The Artist’s Way. Writing these pages has always led me to my truest direction, including my husband. I am still waiting to see what they will bring and am excited to be in a place to carry it out.