Weekly Post #70

As often happens, I missed updating in the middle of my chemo cycle. This one wasn’t too bad, no nausea and the fatigue didn’t hit hard until relatively late. Unfortunately it was still a pretty unpleasant two weeks.

The pain I wrote about last time only got to not-needing-constant-pain-meds level within the last day or two. I don’t know why it got so very bad or was so hard to recover from, so no lessons learned to take forward. I have been doing exercise that focuses a lot on alignment and using muscles for what they’re supposed to be used for, I am hoping that long-term that will prove to be useful in pain management. One of the hardest parts of the pain is that it is ramped up by my knitting. I really really miss it. Knitting makes me feel relaxed and creative and allows me to make clothing I love and not having that outlet right now is sad.

I upset my stomach on Thursday night and spent the entire long weekend trying to recover – mostly by laying limply and staring at screens. I’ve watched so much TV this month and have been grateful for the escape.

One of the things that has been interesting about the pandemic is seeing the world go through some experiences I have had as a result of cancer. The current feeling seems to be that we’re all done with this and yet it’s not over yet. I have hit that wall plenty of times in treatment, of just wanting to step off the ride for a minute and have some normal time. But you can’t, it’s not an option, and you have to find a way to bear it. My family of introverts spent a lot of time this weekend in separate rooms; I think we all needed to meet only our own needs and not deal with another human for a little while.

This week is a couple telehealth visits and recuperating from chemo. Next week I have my PET scan (ugh) on Monday and get my results on Thursday. Last time we talked there was a chance I would move to a trial at MD Anderson after this scan. I’m curious to hear what my doctors think of that risk right now, and what the plan will be. I wonder whether the trial runners would be open to giving me a slot here so I didn’t have to expose myself to travel to participate. We’ll see what I hear next week. Hope you’re well, readers.

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