I’m now just over halfway through radiation and to be honest, I am disappointed by the effects so far. I have been able to drop the number f pills each day at my current dose, after trying over the weekend to drop to a lower dose and failing. I was really hoping that after these two weeks I would be entirely off my pain meds and that is definitely not going to happen. If I remember correctly, the radiation keeps working for a while after my treatments stop, so the pain may continue to decrease over time. And I am starting a new chemo treatment next week, so perhaps that will also kill off some of what is causing this pain and allow me to lower my pain meds. I do want to appreciate, though, that on my current combination it works well enough that I can sleep through the night, I am with it enough to be able to drive, and to interact with my family during the day. It is a significantly better quality of life than I had a couple weeks ago.
I had a really helpful meeting with the dietician at my cancer center last week. I need to take my chemo with a meal that is fewer than 600 calories and less than 30% fat. I know how to calculate the calories part but not the percent fat. She gave me info on how to do that math if I want to, and also helped me get the perspective that the drug won’t stop working if I eat a meal that is 31% fat. This is a guideline to tell me the best type of meal to take this medicine with. I’m such a rule-follower by nature that I often need a little help to remember that often the numbers in the rules aren’t magic, they’re just something someone picked. She also sent me some guidelines about esophagitis, which is an expected side effect of my radiation (though I’m not getting it yet).
I wrote last week that I wanted to try meditating through my radiation sessions to help me walk out of the sessions feeling more calm. My one attempt was pretty awful – without the distraction of a podcast it is incredibly uncomfortable to hold the position I’m in for radiation. I am realizing, though, that I am not longer walking out so stressed out. Maybe it just feels routine again now.
My joy for this week is family book club. My daughter initiated this earlier in the summer, and we all meet weekly to discuss our (her) chosen book. It is incredibly fun to hear her opinions, to discuss the probing questions my husband brings up, to compare our ratings and perspectives on the book. For this upcoming week we are reading Ghosts by Raina Telgemeier and I cannot wait to hear her thoughts on this book that has more nuance than some of the others we have tackled.