That esophagitis was really tough to get through (and I still have to take a Tums first thing when I wake up), but I finally recovered enough to start on my new chemo last Tuesday. This chemo has yet a different dosing schedule – I take the pills everyday for 3 weeks and then get 1 week off. For this first round we do a dose escalation – I am taking 2 pills right now and then I’ll take 3 pills for a week and then 4 pills for a week. Four pills is supposed to be the dose, but we’ll see very clearly if I do better at a different dosage and be able to change it if we need to. So far at the lowest dose I feel just fine, no noticeable side effects at all.
I am struggling with an issue that is new to me – my appetite is too low. I spent the end of last week feeling like I was fighting off a cold – chills and aches and just feeling crummy. And then I realized that I perked up each night after dinner. And that even though the esophagitis is over and I’m eating again, I am still losing weight. I am just not hungry, but eating until I am full doesn’t give me enough calories each day. I have to admit that I wouldn’t mind losing some of the weight that I gained on chemotherapy – my wedding band doesn’t fit currently and I would love to be able to wear it again – but this isn’t the way I want to go about it. I have reached out to my nutritionist at my cancer clinic to get her advice on how to proceed.
I’ve been keeping this close to my heart, but I guess I finally feel brave enough to share. I had a pitch accepted to a digital sewing magazine and wrote an essay that will come out in their September issue. I won’t share the topic yet, but writing it was intense and I am really proud of what I created. I will link to it when it goes up.
My joy this week is Sir Koff-A-Lot, a stuffed bear I was given after my lung surgeries for me to clutch when I cough. I have been coughing the past couple days and have been holding Sir Koff-A-Lot to my sensitive ribs to lessen how much they hurt. I’ve started sleeping with him at night because he feels very comforting.