I have been putting off writing this week because it feels like there is not too much to say, although that’s not quite true.

I continue to have low appetite and lose weight. The few things I have tried from the nutritionist so far clearly aren’t enough, so I need to step it up. She wants me to be drinking high-protein high-fat smoothies between meals which feels pretty hard but I will attempt it. All of the things I am supposed to try feel hard since I don’t have very much energy.

Last week I had a fever one evening which led to a couple days of recording my temperature and blood pressure and heart rate every couple hours and texting it to my doctor. I’m glad I was able to avoid having to get a COVID-19 test, to keep me out of the places where they are administered. One weird thing I noticed around the day the fever hit is that I was experiencing some delirium. We took me off one of my heart medicines and are continuing to keep a close eye on me.

I am so tired I keep falling asleep sitting up in my chair trying to accomplish things on my computer. Or in the middle of watching a show with my husband. Or when I am stubbornly reading instead of sleeping and drop my phone on my face. I don’t know I don’t immediately nap when I’m tired. Sometimes I guess because I am trying to be awake for medicine timing or what to take a longer nap later, but I alway regret not just sleeping the moment my body wants it.

My joy this week is Coca-Cola. I have been craving it and knowing I am low on calories decided to allow it into my life after a very long time without soda. It just tastes so good and the caffeine helps with the fatigue.