My energy is greatly increased this week and it is such a nice feeling. I’ve finally had the time to really address my inbox rather than triaging. I am more able to get up and be with my daughter physically. It is a really nice feeling. And then I remember that I just finished an extra long rest period during my chemo cycle and am now back on it, so basically this is as good as I will feel for this cycle and I’m now headed towards the nadir. I talk about it in relation to every chemo – there’s a rhythm to the cycle that you have to discover to figure out how to live your life on it.
A big focus for our family lately has been back to school. There is still a bit before my daughter goes back, but we have our teacher assignment and are starting to have more meetings to learn specifics on how school will run. Getting a new teacher each year means I have to have my annual conversation informing them of my disease, what Marlowe knows about it, and how it effects her. I had to write it on a form this year rather than getting to talk about it in person and I keep feeling compelled to send a follow-up email with more information that I feel like I left out. But it is okay, she has my info and can ask me any questions that she likes. Okay fine, did I just pause writing this to send an email to her, yes, but I also asked a couple questions unrelated to cancer that had occurred to me.
Today I had a Zoom meeting with my oncologist to check up on how I am doing and it was recorded (with my consent) for a podcast being run by my cancer center. The conversation is going to be chopped up and won’t include any identifying information in the podcast, it will just be blurbs used to show what a conversation between an oncologist and a patient sounds like. I am very curious to listen to it when it comes out and hear what made the cut.
My source of joy this week is that I refreshed the Ikea website at the exactly right time to be able to buy the desk my daughter wanted. It has been out of stock for more than a month and I was giving up hope of obtaining one, but she had her heart set on it so I was still trying. She was so appreciative of my success, and it felt so great that she recognized how committed I had been to fulfilling this wish for her.