Weekly Update #82

Hello! If you’re a new reader due to my Seamwork article, welcome. If you don’t know what that means, allow me to explain. Seamwork is a digital sewing magazine; this summer I pitched them and they accepted it for their September issue, which came out yesterday. The topic is “What To Make When You’re Dying” and is about when I’ll stop sewing garments for myself and start making items for my family, and what those objects might mean in their lives when I am gone. It is intense, and I am proud of it. I have to admit, and this is not fishing for compliments, I always assumed I was a mediocre writer and any compliments from my friends were kindnesses. I am really sitting with the compliments that it is beautiful and I am a good writer and trying to let that sink in.

Last week I was bummed because I had so much energy and knew it was short-lived. I am so thrilled that so far I have maintained it and I have no complaints about side-effects. If I can keep feeling this way on this chemo that would be amazing. We just have to hope that it keeps me stable so it’s worth continuing on.

One thing I do have going on, but not from the chemo, is more pain. And I am really frustrated because two weeks ago I knit for a few days in a row, and then a few days later the pain hit and a week later it is still here, even though I haven’t been knitting. I am trying various stretches, changed to my sleeping position, etc to see if I can make it feasible to knit on a regular basis. Getting to knit once a week sounds incredibly depressing, when I have the time for so much more. I need to go back to the handouts I have from my classes with Carson Demers, the knitting ergonomist, and see what he recommends. I might also reach out to him or one of my PTs (#sickpersonlife) for some help. I know it shouldn’t feel like this. And it has made me afraid to try anything else, lest I make myself even more sore.

At some of my recent cancer advisory board meetings we have been talking about an incredible project I wanted to share. I think that if you weren’t aware before, COVID has made it clear to everyone how difficult it is for members of the Navajo tribe to reach adequate healthcare. One of the local clinics is trying to open an oncology department. This means they could receive treatment on their own land, have native healers be part of their care alongside Western medicine. All this plus, it’s on their reservation vs the current closest oncology office, 200 miles away. If you read about my family and wish you could do something, please consider donating here. I am so lucky to have everything I need and so many things I want. This clinic could use your support far more than I.

Finally, this week’s joy is listening to my daughter play piano. The acoustics in our house mean that the output from the piano float down the hall to my temporary office, so I can sit there on Saturday mornings and hear her working on Carol of the Bells and the Simpsons Theme. You can guess which of those I find more moving.

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