I’ve been busy and worn out lately and now I find myself with three weeks worth of news and thoughts to share. Let’s jump into it!
Two weeks ago I visited MD Anderson for a follow-up scan and visit with my oncologist. The news was meh. There has possibly been a very small amount of growth of a few existing spots, though most of them were stable. My blood marker dropped precipitously, which is a good sign, and also confusing when taken with the CT findings. The plan is to do four more doses of the more intense regimen I’ve been on – if we see growth next time then we’ll move onto a new drug.
The CT also revealed that I have a small blood clot in one of my lungs and that when I thought I pulled a muscle from coughing last month, I actually fractured a rib. To deal with the blood clot I have to give myself daily injections of a blood thinner. The fractured rib is healing well and is a reminder that my bones are fragile and I need to be really proactive in shutting down coughing.
Logically I’m fine with all this news. I can handle four more doses of this drug, and I can suck it up and give myself tiny injections for 2 months. But emotionally it’s been much harder. I’m feeling tired of non-stop chemo and just of being a sick person. I wish I could take a break for a bit and come back to cancer refreshed.
Yesterday I had the humbling experience of bottoming out at a friend’s house. After a few hours of sitting doing a jigsaw puzzle I became so dizzy I had to lie down. Eventually my friend had to drive me home because I wasn’t safe behind the wheel. This is a good friend who took it all in stride and was so loving, but it was so hard and vulnerable for me to experience. Not being healthy enough to sit upright for more than a few hours is embarrassing – I don’t think of myself as that sick, but apparently I am. Upon getting home I finally figured out I was super dehydrated, and I’m still trying to replace the electrolytes and fluids I lost.
And finally, to bury the lede, I’m ready to share some of the exciting news I referenced in my last post.
First up, I’ll be performing my song live at an event later this week. Here is the page with more information about the event. I’ve never performed the song live, but am really excited about the opportunity to share it and talk about how amazing it was for me to participate in the program.
And the other amazing thing is that I’ll be speaking on a panel at SXSW. Here is a link to the panel description – I’ll be speaking about my experiences as a cancer patient and why I think the new Livestrong Cancer Institutes model is going to be beneficial to cancer survivors. I’m honored that they invited me to participate and am pretty excited that I also get a badge to enjoy some of the rest of the SXSW festivities!
That’s plenty of catch up for today. This week I’m going to focus on self-care and try to be in a better place for my next infusion in a week.